awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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