I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize