Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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