And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I love having hate sex.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Randomize
