That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
