I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
