I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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