For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize