Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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