just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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