She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
he fucked my hip out of place.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize