"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
