How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
