from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
