Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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