Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize