I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
