my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
