we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Randomize
