every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize