There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize