i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It's official drugs can't kill me
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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