He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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