the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
