Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
