i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
