: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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