K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
