if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
