I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
