im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
