In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
