it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i will never coherently bang her
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
