I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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