I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
