I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
