try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
