since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
