That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
