She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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