I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
