He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
