Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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