I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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