I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
