No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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