Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
