grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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