My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
