As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
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