Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
