drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
