Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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