My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
