So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize