garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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