Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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