i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Randomize
