its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
