I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
