Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize