so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
