He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
