he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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